Don’t shame them when they mess up, teach them how to repair
No child is perfectly kind all the time. They’re going to say mean things. They’ll grab toys, yell at siblings, or roll their eyes when asked to share. That’s normal. What matters isn’t avoiding these moments, it’s how you handle them.
Instead of yelling or shaming, pause. Ask them how they think the other person felt. Give them words: “Can you try saying, ‘I’m sorry I hurt your feelings’?” Show them how to repair the moment, how to own what they did, and how to make it right.
This builds emotional muscles. It teaches them that kindness isn’t about being perfect, it’s about noticing when they’ve hurt someone and trying to fix it. That’s a skill many adults still struggle with. Give your child a head start by making it safe to be imperfect and kind at the same time.